Breastfeeding is often described as one of the most natural parts of motherhood. For many mothers, it becomes a deeply bonding experience. It’s one that nourishes not only a baby’s body, but also the emotional connection between mother and child. Lactation provides ideal nutrition, supports a baby’s immune system, and can be a comforting rhythm for both mother and baby.

But there’s another side to this story that doesn’t get talked about enough.

As a mother who had a plentiful milk supply and found breastfeeding relatively natural, I want to say something clearly: I know that my experience is not everyone’s reality.

Yes, lactation is natural. But that does not mean it is easy for everyone.

Some mothers struggle with low milk supply. Others experience painful latch issues, medical complications, hormonal challenges, or babies who simply cannot breastfeed effectively. For some, the stress and exhaustion that come with trying to make breastfeeding work can feel overwhelming. And when things don’t go as expected, guilt often creeps in.

I remember meeting other new mothers who were desperately trying everything – power pumping, supplements, lactation consultations, sleepless nights – just hoping their milk supply would increase. The frustration and heartbreak they felt was real. And yet many of them still felt like they were somehow “failing.”

But they weren’t.

The truth is that lactation is influenced by many factors beyond a mother’s control: hormones, birth experiences, health conditions, medications, stress, and even genetics. Wanting to breastfeed and being unable to produce enough milk are two very different things.

Your effort is not measured in ounces.

As someone who had a large milk supply and didn’t face those struggles personally, it would be easy for me to assume breastfeeding is simply a matter of perseverance. But listening to other mothers’ experiences has taught me otherwise. I’ve learned that every feeding journey is different, and every mother is doing the best she can with the circumstances she has.

And that deserves compassion, not guilt.

Breast milk is wonderful, but it is not the only measure of love, dedication, or good parenting. A nourished baby, a supported mother, and a calm home environment matter far more than how milk arrives in the bottle or at the breast.

Whether a baby is fed through breastfeeding, pumping, donor milk, formula, or a combination of all three, the most important thing is that both mother and baby are healthy and supported.

If you are struggling with milk supply, please hear this: you are not alone, and you are not failing.

Motherhood was never meant to be measured in millilitres.

The love, care, and effort you pour into your child every day matter far more than the method of feeding. Feeding your baby in a way that protects your wellbeing is not giving up, it’s parenting with wisdom and compassion.

Breastfeeding may have come naturally to me, but empathy for other mothers should come naturally to all of us.

Every mother’s journey deserves respect.

• A young black girl