He only had one goal and one goal only… and you was not that goal.

Ladies, you already know I’m going to keep it real.

We all know how it goes when it comes to men right? They put us through so much bullshit but guess what, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

I have accumulated a list of information from various females, based on their experience of what red flags to look out for when dealing with a “fuck boy”.

I wholeheartedly can say that I myself have experienced most if not everything listed below, it’s unfortunate but these experiences have helped me to become the Queen I am today. If I’m able to help someone then this blog was worth it.

I would like to point out many of the red flags listed below, were repeating factors that it seemed most women experienced, so I’m sure you’ll be able to relate. Just remember, no matter what you have been through, someone in the world has been through the same if not worse. Your experiences are real and has brought you up to this point in your life. Live your life with no regrets, life is a journey of learning and unlearning. Take from your experiences only the things that serve you in the present and future. Leave the rest in the past and unlearn bad habits so you can be the best version of yourself.

1. Emotionally abusive men; He gets into your head and manipulates you. He starts playing mind games, guilt tripping you, he makes you feel worthless and humiliates you, dismissive behaviour, patronizing, belittling your accomplishments, pressuring you to do things you don’t want to do, denying something that you know is true. Abusers also like to shift the blame and accuse their victim of the things they are doing, this is called projecting. You start to question yourself and your own sanity. Babe, he’s mentally unwell and you’re probably dealing with a narcissist.
2. Physically abusive men; If he puts his hands on you just understand that man does not love or care about you. Beating your partner is not okay. Stop lying to yourself and LEAVE ASAP!
3. Has he ever called his ex “crazy”, maybe you should question to why he’s calling her crazy? Most likley, he’s the reason why she would have acted out of character.
4. He texts you first and when you reply he doesn’t respond. Sis, he’s just testing the waters to see if he still has access to you. Or you’re probably just an option.
5. He is deceitful; he lies about what he’s doing to either keep you out the loop or does things to make you jealous. No one wants a liar. Find yourself a REAL MAN.
6. Men that only want to come “check you” or want to “Netflix and chill” instead of taking you out on a date. Girl don’t fall for this trap, he just wants to fuck.
7. If he doesn’t make time to see you and always pulls the “busy” card. Please don’t make that boy fool you, we all make time for things we want to make time for.
8. Inconsistency, he speaks to you when he feels like it and wants to see you when it’s convenient for him. He ghosts you for a couple days/weeks/months and even years and he came back out of nowhere like everything is fine.
9. Men with no future ambitions and aspirations in life. Especially fuck boys who are comfortable not having a legal income. Do you really want a wotless man?
10. He tells you not to worry about a specific female and blocks/deletes them, but soon as you stop talking, he’s interacting with the same person he said not to worry about. Yep, he was playing you.
11. When you ask what his intentions with you are and he tells you to “’just go with the flow” be warned that means I’m going to string you along and give you a little hope for a relationship but really he has no interest in taking it further.
12. Things are good and it seems like an appropriate time to meet the parents, but he starts making excuses as to why you can’t meet them. You might want to question how serious he is about you.
13. A man who acts secretive around his phone is a major red flag. Does he ever get nervous when someone texts or calls him? You’ve noticed he never leaves his phone alone around you or when he leaves the room when he gets a phone call. He might not like you picking his phone up as well.
14. When he talks the talk, but his actions don’t match. You discuss your concerns as you should, and he reassures you of how serious he is and how much he likes you. Then surprise! He continues to do the same things you spoke about… Girl he’s wasting your time, leave.
15. Does he only remember you during booty call hours? Meaning, does he only talk to you and/or sees you after 10pm?
16. A controlling man, he tells you what to wear and he doesn’t like you going out. Does he like to question your whereabouts and keeps a tab on you. Does he dislike all your friends? Does he tell you “You don’t need anyone else but me” If he does any of these; GET OUT.
17. He tells you what you want to hear only to get things from you.
18. He shows you a side to him that you love and enjoy but when you have sex you notice he starts acting different. Doesn’t call you anymore or speaks to you as often as before.
19. When he doesn’t want to or has not expressed the idea of meeting his female friends or friends in general.
20. He lies to you about small things that makes you question his honesty.

Going through painful experiences with men can change your outlook on men and relationships but never allow it to change who you are. Continue being that loving kind-hearted person you were before but continue to protect your heart also. The way someone treats you does not define your worth. You deserve so much better and never settle for anyone’s bullshit. There are plenty of fishes in the sea. Leave that man alone sis, you know damn well you’re too good for him anyways. Life is too precious to be wasting it, worrying about someone that does not value and respect you.

If you’ve experienced something that wasn’t mentioned, then please share with us in the comments section below. Someone else may need to hear it.

If you have been affected by the issues relating to this topic, please see below.

Please visit:

Victims Support

• https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/  
• If you’ve been affected by crime and you need confidential support or information, call our Supportline for free on 08 08 16 89 111.
• Our Supportline operates 24/7, every day of the year, including Christmas.
• Please note that we can only offer support to people in England and Wales

 Samaritans 

• www.samaritans.org
• If you’re in distress and need support, you can ring Samaritans for free at any time of the day or night.
• Freephone (UK and Republic of Ireland): 116 123 (24 hours)
• Email: jo@samaritans.orgYoung Minds Crisis Messenger

• Provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK if you are experiencing a mental health crisis
• If you need urgent help text YM to 85258
• All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors
• Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.Step forward
  • Free & confidential services for all young people aged 11-25, living in & around Tower Hamlets, East London
  • www.step-forward.org