It all starts with putting yourself first.
Sometimes life can become overwhelming, we can feel trapped and confined in our minds. The pressures of life start to build up, that’s when the negative feelings start to grow and unfold.
Finding balance can help avoid all those low vibrational feelings such as depression and anxiety.
Earlier this year I found myself in the most depressive state of my life, I was stressed beyond belief. (I go in-depth in my book – coming 2026) I was in such a low place I didn’t see a way out. I felt like I was drowning in my emotions. I was very ill as the stress took a toll on my body. Through that time, I started to become close with God again, and through having faith and the help of the people around me I was able to overcome it.
Finding balance has been an area where I struggled with the most in my life. I take on a lot on my plate, those that know me will know that I am a very hard worker and I’m always concerned about looking after everyone else around me. This meant that I rarely put myself first. I’ve been working since I was 17, being the oldest at home can come with a lot of pressure and expectations. People look to you and expect you to have your life all figured out, but that’s not the reality here. It’s a journey, we all have different paths to follow in life and the only person you should be competing with is yourself. Do what makes you happy!
If you can relate, then I’m sure you will agree that adulting life can be HARDDDD.
I never really knew when to give myself a break until it was too late. That’s where I usually fuck up. It’s crucial to take time to yourself, put yourself first when necessary. Your mental health is so important, and a lot of people seem to neglect it. I sure did! I didn’t fully understand how important it was until things started to go downhill but guess what? I’m still here. I’m still pushing through and I overcame depression and anxiety. If you are going through the same, then I know you can do it too. Don’t give up!
As some of you know, I’m an empath so I tend to feel a lot, which makes it’s 10 times harder. Your energy is so sooo precious, you must be careful what you put your energy into and what/who you surround your energy with.
It’s important to find a job that also gives you a good work life balance so you can have time to do the things you enjoy.
I’m so grateful to say I am truly at peace with myself and looking back I’m so grateful that God gave me that lesson. Everything in life is a lesson and it’s up to you to choose how you look at life experiences, good or bad. Do you only look at the negatives? or do you choose to take the positives from the situation?
Here’s a few tips that helped me to incorporate a more balanced life and helped me to overcome my depression and anxiety.
- Acupuncture – This was the first thing that set me on the road to recovery.
- Prayer – Tip: praying is not always about asking, but also about being thankful.
- Seeking help/speaking to someone I could trust
- Reading – find a book that can help feed your mind.
- Putting my sanity first; for me that meant quitting my job as it was draining the little energy I had left. (Don’t follow me and quit your job without a plan B, if you go broke please don’t come for me please.)
- Going for walks and spending time outdoors
- Grounding myself and meditating
- Daily Affirmations & Practising self-love
- Gave myself a daily routine to follow
- Exercising & breathing techniques
- WRITING – Writing is my therapy
I would like to say a big thank you to my counsellor Matteo for going above and beyond for me and constantly checking in on me. Thank you Toan for going the extra mile in helping me, you’re truly amazing. Deborah, Tash, Bria, Rickani, Dani, Jahnayi, Jahday, Monique, Shandee, Paula, Theresa, Heather, Kayla, Frances, Anthony, Charmelle, Malv and all my family and dare friends that were supporting me through that dark time in my life. I can’t list everyone but you all know who you are – I love and appreciate you all very much.
If you have been affected by the issues relating to this topic please see below.
Please visit:
Samaritans
- www.samaritans.org
- If you’re in distress and need support, you can ring Samaritans for free at any time of the day or night.
- Freephone (UK and Republic of Ireland): 116 123 (24 hours)
- Email: jo@samaritans.org
Young Minds Crisis Messenger
- Provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK if you are experiencing a mental health crisis
- If you need urgent help text YM to 85258
- All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors
- Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.
Papyrus (Prevention of Young Suicide)
- www.papyrus-uk.org
- Confidential advice and support for young people who feel suicidal.
- HOPELineUK: 0800 068 41 41
- Text: 07786 209 697
- Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
Step forward
• Free & confidential services for all young people aged 11-25, living in & around Tower Hamlets, East London
• www.step-forward.org
The life of a young black girl 